Pour Some Sugar On Me

Def Leppard, after years of directing ladies to pour sugar on them, are as determined as ever to own the situation. 
Sadly, dousing your lover in sugar is still well outside of societal norms despite the best efforts of Def Leppard.
 
Critics say the tendency of sugar to get hot, wet and sticky sweet from your head to your feet is pointlessly messy. It will not lead an improved sex life. It is not even interesting. Def Leppard dismisses such talk as envy.
 
Def Leppard points to record sales as justification of how sugar works with the bing-bang. Critics point to a lack of serious study dedicated to understanding the compulsion to tell friends and strangers alike to pour sugar on you.
 
The band and its critics remain at an impasse. According to a spokesperson for Def Leppard, a never ending line of ladies get a kick out of pouring sugar on the band. This is "all we need to know." The band insists they are happy and cannot wait to get doused in sugar again.
 
Critics question the number of ladies in the "never ending line," suggesting a significant percentage of them might be under expectation they are on way to a bathroom or a food truck, or perhaps harboring a mental illness.
 
Def Leppard will play the Yolo County fairgrounds this weekend, headlining a bill that also includes Styx and Ratt. The band's publicist says they will play Pour Some Sugar on Me until they get it right.

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